Pharah (
justice_from_above) wrote in
legionworld2017-05-15 01:21 pm
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Entry tags:
Action - Open
Who| Fareeha and You!
What| Post mission chillaxing
Where| Little Cairo Coffee Shop in Fareeha's habitation region
When| Post To Have And To Hold mission
Warnings/Notes| n\a
Fareeha had been left with a few things to think about, in light of her mission with Junkrat and a later conversation with Jack. She's inundated with conflicting emotions, none of them strong enough to rule out their resisting counterpart, but enough that there's a constant muzz in her head that she's trying to feel out. She had enjoyed her time with Junkrat, but should she have? Is she letting her guard down too much? But, she's never felt quite so at ease with herself in a long while. The mission itself offered some moral hesitance, and while she went through with it in the end, she wondered what that meant about the stability of her own morals, and what Legion might hold for her in the future.
She's not quite hiding, but she's spending a bit more time at the coffee house in her habitat than on the Legion ship. Feel free to hit her up for a conversation or a free coffee or tea (or milk tea boba, the newest item on the menu!).
What| Post mission chillaxing
Where| Little Cairo Coffee Shop in Fareeha's habitation region
When| Post To Have And To Hold mission
Warnings/Notes| n\a
Fareeha had been left with a few things to think about, in light of her mission with Junkrat and a later conversation with Jack. She's inundated with conflicting emotions, none of them strong enough to rule out their resisting counterpart, but enough that there's a constant muzz in her head that she's trying to feel out. She had enjoyed her time with Junkrat, but should she have? Is she letting her guard down too much? But, she's never felt quite so at ease with herself in a long while. The mission itself offered some moral hesitance, and while she went through with it in the end, she wondered what that meant about the stability of her own morals, and what Legion might hold for her in the future.
She's not quite hiding, but she's spending a bit more time at the coffee house in her habitat than on the Legion ship. Feel free to hit her up for a conversation or a free coffee or tea (or milk tea boba, the newest item on the menu!).
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But he's absolutely right; she is conflicted, and given their earlier talk about meditation and clearing one's mind, now would be as good a time as any to delve into it.
"Can it really be biased?" Since they're speaking of matters of the heart. She's been trained to be objective in her thinking and reactions, but she can see this is too close for her to step back.
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"Feelings are the most biased thing a person can possess. It is what creates bias. But it is also what defines us. A dual edged blade, that can both help and hurt. If you understand it, you can flow like water and perfect yourself. If you refuse to, you will only cut open your heart and create more pain."
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If Genji thought that her issues concerning Junkrat were complicated, that's nothing compared to the intricate and strained relationship with her mother.
"You studied with the Omnic monks, is that right?"
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It was an easy question to answer though the fact that Zenyatta wasn't part of the order officially anymore was hinted in there.
"Our paths separated so I could confront my brother again but I still consider him my teacher."
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"So ... meditation."
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Because once they had a little travel under their belts, they were obviously heading to Nepal...or well, Genji's habitation region. It was cold, some snow on the ground, but it was definitely the large temple that probably plastered the news as the top spot for religious people to visit.
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For the moment, though, it's hard to focus on anything outside of the increasing cold - which Fareeha in her arid-desert habitat was not dressed or prepared for near- and sub-freezing temperatures.
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There is nothing to hold but much to know. Still, in a metal body, Genji isn't immune to the cold but he doesn't let it cause him any issues. Though...
"Do not ask for warmth. The chill is part of the training."
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Fareeha chuckles darkly as she chafes her arms. "I guess I should have figured something like that." Things worth attaining weren't usually easy. But, she's got this; she may have come from a warm clime, but she's spent some time in colder ones as well throughout her life. After indulging herself a little longer, she balls her hands into fists and puts her arms down to her side in an attempt to acclimate to the weather. Granted, those times she was out in colder climes, she was usually dressed for it.
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"We will start in here. Ignoring the weather around you is a skill to be learned far in the future."
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"Good. Not that I would have complained otherwise ... or, at least not aloud." She smirks back at him and walks in to situate herself by the fire, though not giving in and plopping herself in front of it like she would have liked; she has a reputation to keep.
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"I will need to you sit by the fire with your legs crossed. Your hands will need to be together, with your index and middle fingers outstretched pressed together but with the rest of your fingers intertwined."
It was very stereotypical of a meditation position but it was like that for a reason. Namely holding one's hands in front of them was physically difficult after a long period of time.
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So good so far.
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"Now, close your eyes. I want you to think of things that bother you. If speaking them helps, go ahead, but you must acknowledge those things yourself."
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And then having to think about all the things that bother her, well ... that's no small, inconsequential list. She frowns slightly, looking over at him at the request, but then takes a breath and closes her eyes.
She is absolutely going to do this quietly because heaven forbid Genji find out what a mess she was.
People who don't signal changing lanes. Weak tea. Men who make a big deal about opening the door first. Best to start out small, she figures, working through some minor pet-peeves before she tackles some of the meatier issues.
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Genji paces a little bit, though with his silent stride, it shouldn't be a distraction in the slightest.
"These thoughts are leaving your mind as you make them as acknowledging them grants an exit."
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"What is it that plagues you? Take a moment to boil it down to ten words or less, otherwise you may overwhelm yourself again."
This time, at least, he was expecting an answer.
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And soon enough he gives her something else to focus on as she has to narrow down the litany of reasons she's not doing too well at this. She pulls in a breath and lets it out in a sigh as she tries to narrow it all down. Ten words sounds ample, but it doesn't quite cover I was born into Overwatch, was not allowed to join, and am struggling to find acceptance with my estranged mother who - by the way - let me believe she was dead for six years. But, in that little mental barrage; she finds her answer.
She lets out another sigh, some more like defeat as her shoulders sag. She doesn't look up at Genji as she makes her admission; "My mother."
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"Why?"
His tone modifies what he's questioning. He's not asking why her mother is the source of her problem but why she held that issue in the first place. It's not about her reasons but why she's clinging onto those reasons.
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The answer seemed to stare her in the face but took some time in forming words around. "She's my mother, how can I just let that go? She's trying to make things right ... I want to make things right."
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The fact that she's willing to make an improvement on what is bothering her is a good thing. However, letting that same feeling drag her down won't help in the slightest. So he stops to take a breath.
"A fallen blossom cannot return to the branch nor can a broken mirror be made to shine. Acknowledge the issue but you cannot linger on the past. Instead, you must focus on what can be done in the future. On what you can do. Let your past sink its grip into you and you will never be truly free."
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There's so much there, dug in like a tick, and it's hard to let go of because the future is so uncertain. She will, however, make an attempt; she resumes the position, closes her eyes, and pulls in and releases a deep breath.
Come on, Fareeha; let it go.
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