Movie Night II: The Moviening [Open]

[unrecovered]

Who| Wash and anyone who wants to come
What| Movie night!
Where| A large, nice lounge on Legion World
When| A few days after Murderworld and the night after the Anon Meme went up
Warnings/Notes| They're watching the Lion King. This should be interesting

It's been a few days since everyone's arrived back from Murder World, and the Anon Meme went up yesterday. Everyone needs a breather. It's time to watch a movie.

Comments

[turntex]

Maybe he's just trying to be open-minded, enlightened as he's been made recently to how fucking unimportant as a concept gender really is. Or maybe, more likely, he really just wasn't paying attention. In his defense, pizza-based crimes are taking place and in lieu of a certain alien lawyer-wannabe, it's up to him to deal with these flagrantly illegal acts.

That is to say, Pidge has made the fatal error of taking Dave seriously, and now he has to ride this train 'til its inevitable derailing and horrible crash.

"In the universe I came from, popular tastes are a biological thing that evolves with the species and thus changes with time. There are entire textbooks and classes in fancy culinary schools and shit decidated to the history of human taste buds. Some people make a living off predicting future trends so restaurants can stay ahead of the game." Staring down the pizza, straight-faced and voice dry as possible, Dave shakes his head solemly. "There was a period of time in the 80s where humanity developed a taste for spinach-flavored everything. That was a dark time for mankind."

[isthisapidge]

"See, I also had a guy who told me dumb fonts were an integral part of his alien culture which I'm still not totally sure I believe."

Of course, with all the alternate universes around here she can't actually rule it out that he's telling the truth. She can't determine that he's lying just from what he's given her. Popular tastes change with time is true regardless, and people try to make money from predicting trends everywhere.

On the other hand...he said he's from 2009. There's no way he lived through the 80s. If he's making this up, there may be a script he wants her to follow. She just needs to figure out where it's best to deviate. She'll keep her tone neutral for now. "That must have been tough on your parents."

[turntex]

"Yeah, that'd be Karkat. It's just a weird troll thing." Dave shrugs as if to say aliens, y'know? "He's honestly not that bad compared to some of the others I've had the misfortune of speaking to. Like leetspeakers on a bad acid trip."

But whatever she was going for with that carefully neutral response, it probably wasn't a little smirk and, "I was spawned through paradoxical ectobiology and dumped on Earth by a time-traveling meteor. So I don't really have parents."

Amazing how his factual statements can sound just as bullshit, if not even more so, than his bullshitting.

[isthisapidge]

"I mean, I just don't know that I buy that it's a 100% indispensable to their culture." It's just too silly and too...troll-y.

...Yeah, OK, that catches Pidge off-guard.

"Uh...let's start by defining 'paradoxical ectobiology.'" She can't properly decide if he's making things up if she doesn't know what he's talking about.

[turntex]

"I guess it's not 100% necessary, but it's just normal for them. I think it feels uncomfortable for them to drop it. Like, imagine someone said you gotta walk around everywhere on tiptoes. Yeah, you can do it and it's not like it even takes that much effort, but it'd feel unnatural as fuck, right?"

Look at Dave, using his powers of excessive metaphor use for good. Nodding like he just thought back over it and yeah, that was a pretty good explanation, he reaches over the pineapple hell to grab a regular cheesy slice. Like a normal person.

"The ecto-shit is not normal back home, let's start with that.That was just another instance of fate and reality and all that crap dicking us around." Dave shrugs, taking advantage of the pause to snag a bite. Good lord, he missed pizza the last few years. "Anyway, you get a paradox ectoclone thing when you try to appearify a person at some point in their timeline where they weren't supposed to randomly disappear. You can't zap them to you without causing a paradox, so you get a clone of ectosludge that apparently just falls apart into regular ectosludge after a sec anyway because it's still just sludge. This is all hearsay by the way, I was not actually present for the process."

Not because one isn't typically present for their own birth, though. He just wasn't the asshole the ended up in charge of faciliating the squad's existence retroactively. Anyway...

"So my sis and I were made by combining the ectogoo from our technical parents into one gross slurry of genetic material and making babies with it. Meanwhile, sorta-mom and pop were made at the same time by creating babies out of just their own goop so I guess they're double-paradox ectomiracles. Then we were all dropped on meteors to get shot through some time portal shit so we'd get dropped off at the correct points and places in time to grow up lile normal people to some extent."

[isthisapidge]

"I'd think you'd get used to it eventually. It's basically just like walking in heels." Says the girl who spends most of her time in flats, but still. "It's a fair point, but still."

She listens to his explanation as close as she possibly can, mulling it over in her mind as he goes. Processing every stage of this is a surprising challenge, most likely because she doesn't have the full context for any of it.

"Honestly? It's kind of nice to know that time travel has possible anti-paradox proofing. I'm more interested in the process of the ecto-biology. Doesn't that make you some kind of mixed-DNA clone?"

She takes a bite of pizza and chews thoughtfully, tapping the crust on the plate.

"And how on earth does a baby survive a trip on a meteor?"

[turntex]

"Nah, that's just paradox-proof tech. Time travel paradox-proofing involves offshoot universes and the brutal murder of all those in them." Dave makes a face, closer to what you'd expect from a discussion of a disliked food than one of the horrifying perils of time travel. "I know more about the time shenanigans than the ectobiology shenanigans, sorry. I guess it's basically cloning, insofar as mixing two people's genetic material counts as cloning. I mean, my sis and I seem more like twins than clones -- thank fuck -- so I figured it was closer to combining genetic fluid the old fashioned way."

At that, he glances over to Pidge to smirk very slightly and waggle his eyebrows, the gesture just visible over the rim of his shades.

"And fuck if I know. I heard my personal infancy asteroid ride also included a horse that did not survive the trip, so I guess it's just babies in particular that are atmospheric-entry and impact resistant."