Agent Washington (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
unrecovered) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
legionworld2016-09-22 05:41 pm
unrecovered) wrote in legionworld2016-09-22 05:41 pm
Entry tags:
Sitting on the dock of the bay [Open]
Who| Wash and whomever wants to bother him
What| Wash is having one hell of a week and ismoping ruminating about it.
Where| The Habitat Deck
When| During the TTHS investigation, after catching Reaper
It's quiet, and right now, that's what Wash wants.
He can usually keep his massive fuckups to one a week, or one every couple of weeks if things are quiet. Here, somehow, he's managed three over the span of several days, and that's-
It's unacceptable. He can't keep doing this. He has to be better.
So he's found a quiet place on the habitat deck - a lake in the mountains, where the beach is more gravel than sand and the treeline comes nearly to the water itself - to sit and think. He knows it belongs to someone else - his own spot on the habitat deck is still a small expanse of nothing, since he still hasn't figured out what to put in there that won't hurt somehow - but hopefully whoever belongs to this spot is out somewhere and won't come back today.
He puts his back to a tree, faces the water, and sinks down to the ground, thinking. If he can go over what's happened these past few days and find his mistakes, he can do better next time, or avoid the situation altogether. He knew he wasn't prepared for the fight on Talok IV - nobody was, really - but he can be prepared next time. He can start carrying live rounds, for one - they'll be highly regulated, but it'll be better than nothing. He can also...he can...how the hell is he supposed to prepare for an ambush?
Well, he'll figure out a way and he'll do it. 'It was a surprise' isn't good enough - not with people's lives on the line. He'll have to do better next time, whenever the inevitable 'next time' rolls around.
As for his conversation with Chief, he...he said some things he shouldn't have. He was on painkillers, but that can't be an excuse. He needs to have more control, full stop. He needs to-
He needs to not ruin any more friendships. He's done more than enough of that in his life, and he doesn't have that many to begin with. He can't afford to lose any more.
He doesn't want to lose any more.
He still wants to be friends with Chief, even if Chief is (rightfully) mad at him.
Fuck. Fuck. Come back to that one later. The situation with Reaper-
He'd wanted a win so badly that he'd failed to follow protocol - protocol he should damn well know by now - and as a result, he'd put everyone on the ship in danger. Including civilians. Including kids. He- he needed to-
God damn it.
He shakes his head roughly. This isn't working. He can't focus on the facts - he keeps getting tied up in guilt and shame, and that's not going to help him. He needs to-
He doesn't know anymore.
He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, gazing out over the lake. At least the view is nice. It's the only thing that's any good around here right now.
What| Wash is having one hell of a week and is
Where| The Habitat Deck
When| During the TTHS investigation, after catching Reaper
It's quiet, and right now, that's what Wash wants.
He can usually keep his massive fuckups to one a week, or one every couple of weeks if things are quiet. Here, somehow, he's managed three over the span of several days, and that's-
It's unacceptable. He can't keep doing this. He has to be better.
So he's found a quiet place on the habitat deck - a lake in the mountains, where the beach is more gravel than sand and the treeline comes nearly to the water itself - to sit and think. He knows it belongs to someone else - his own spot on the habitat deck is still a small expanse of nothing, since he still hasn't figured out what to put in there that won't hurt somehow - but hopefully whoever belongs to this spot is out somewhere and won't come back today.
He puts his back to a tree, faces the water, and sinks down to the ground, thinking. If he can go over what's happened these past few days and find his mistakes, he can do better next time, or avoid the situation altogether. He knew he wasn't prepared for the fight on Talok IV - nobody was, really - but he can be prepared next time. He can start carrying live rounds, for one - they'll be highly regulated, but it'll be better than nothing. He can also...he can...how the hell is he supposed to prepare for an ambush?
Well, he'll figure out a way and he'll do it. 'It was a surprise' isn't good enough - not with people's lives on the line. He'll have to do better next time, whenever the inevitable 'next time' rolls around.
As for his conversation with Chief, he...he said some things he shouldn't have. He was on painkillers, but that can't be an excuse. He needs to have more control, full stop. He needs to-
He needs to not ruin any more friendships. He's done more than enough of that in his life, and he doesn't have that many to begin with. He can't afford to lose any more.
He doesn't want to lose any more.
He still wants to be friends with Chief, even if Chief is (rightfully) mad at him.
Fuck. Fuck. Come back to that one later. The situation with Reaper-
He'd wanted a win so badly that he'd failed to follow protocol - protocol he should damn well know by now - and as a result, he'd put everyone on the ship in danger. Including civilians. Including kids. He- he needed to-
God damn it.
He shakes his head roughly. This isn't working. He can't focus on the facts - he keeps getting tied up in guilt and shame, and that's not going to help him. He needs to-
He doesn't know anymore.
He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, gazing out over the lake. At least the view is nice. It's the only thing that's any good around here right now.
no subject
"Well initially the project was supposed to pair human soldiers with AI to make them more effective in combat. Budgetary constraints meant that the project could only get one smart AI, made from a flashclone of the Director's brain: the Alpha. The problems started happening when the Director found out that his obsession with his dead wife - who was a soldier who died in combat - had manifested in Alpha as a complimentary program, Beta. She was meant to support Alpha, but she was still part of him. So he isolated Alpha, broke Beta off, put her in essentially a robot suit in armor, and renamed her Agent Texas.
"So on one side of the program - a program that sent agents out in teams for missions but emphasized individual performance over team success and visibly ranked every agent in the program - you have a brand new agent with a codename that was previously reserved going immediately to the top of the leaderboard and wrecking everyone who'd pinned their self-worth to their rank." Namely Carolina. Mostly Carolina. Just...Carolina. "That's actually how York fucked up his eye - they put Tex against him and two other agents in an exhibition match, gave them live ammo when there wasn't supposed to be any on the training room floor, and he wound up too close to a grenade. Tex was actually the only reason he didn't die." It was less odd now than it had been then, but nonetheless.
"On the other side of the program, you have an isolated smart AI being tortured to the point of developing a multiple personality disorder to try to protect itself, only to have those personalities siphoned out, treated as their own entities, and assigned to high-performing agents who had no idea where these AI were coming from. And the thing is, it worked - for three people and a couple months, and then it all went to shit.
"Those three people were technically successes - people who were better in the field with the help of their AI partners." Wash pauses. "Of course, the Director only had to commit a few atrocities to get them to that point, and they're all dead now. But the failure that caused the shutdown of the AI implementation program survived." One guess who that is, Chief. Your only hint is that he's standing right in front of you.
no subject
The Chief was abducted from his family, effectively brainwashed, and was training under live fire before he should've been old enough to enlist, but something about this is different to him. Twisted as it was, the Spartans knew what was being done to them. Or at least he believes they did. He still prefers not to think about how little he knew and how young he was when he decided it was the right thing to do. He still doesn't know the full extent to which he was lied to.
The Chief's been leading the Spartans since year two. There's a sacred obligation those who lead in war have to those following orders: to protect them when possible, and spend their lives dearly and well when it's not. You don't play games with that sacrifice, you don't experiment and leave your people to die in the dark just to see what happens. He's watched an AI spin off fragments to buy time before, he's seen how unstable they are. He refuses to believe that the project's Director didn't know this would end in disaster, didn't know he was destroying the people who trusted him on such a narrow chance that it would work while he tortured a living machine into its death throes.
It disgusts the Chief on a visceral level. It could have happened to him, it could have happened to his Spartans, and it could have happened to Cortana. They all would have followed their orders, trusted the command structure, and been powerless to stop it.
"Please tell me they burned for it." The Chief is not an expressive person, but there is an absolute venom in the words.
It wouldn't have bothered him when he was young. The sacrifice of a few people for the potential good of the many is the creed that raised him, and he just happened to be a success story while Freelancer was a failure. But now, after a life spent fighting, his perspective is different. He's protected people as a whole for too long for that feel acceptable anymore.
...Unless it's him, of course, but no one has accused the Chief of not having problems.
no subject
Wash leans back against the tree behind him and folds his arms. "There was nothing left to burn. By the time the oversight subcommittee finished its investigation, almost all of Project Freelancer's data had been wiped, the Director had gone into hiding, and most of its agents had been killed, either in the initial crash or by each other. There was no justice, no closure - you either died believing in the project or died later, knowing you'd been hung out to dry and help wasn't coming."
He's gotten bitter and angry without realizing it, and he closes his eyes and sucks in a breath, trying to gather himself. He can be bitter all he wants at Freelancer, but that doesn't mean he gets to take it out on Chief. Neither of them need that.
After a few moments, he lets that breath out and looks back up at Chief. He's fine. He has to be. "Like I said, my CO is the only other survivor I know of. Everyone else is either dead or so deep in hiding that trying to dig them up would get them killed." It's easier to see the blank spaces on the roster as graves than to believe anyone else would be coming back. Carolina's return, difficult though it had been, had been enough of a miracle; he isn't about to ask for more.
no subject
The Chief's quiet for a moment, considering.
"I don't know how all of this is going to end, or what exactly Brainiac 5 is going to figure out," he says finally, reaching a decision. "So this is a bit longer range than I'd like. But if this gets cleaned up and there's a way for me to get over there for a while, I'd go."
Wash didn't ask for help. But he's being offered it anyway.
Because that's what friends do.
"I don't need an answer right now. But it's your call if it comes."
They have a lot of work to do first, and it's still only a possibility, but the Chief doesn't say he'll do something if he doesn't mean it.
no subject
"Why?" It's point-blank and a little lost. "Freelancer burned down, the whole thing's gone- there wouldn't be anything left for you to do." There's one last fight, yeah, but Wash figures he and Carolina will have that pretty well in hand - he won't allow himself to consider any other possibilities.
no subject
"You said nobody ever turned up your project's director."
no subject
He laughs, and it's short and sharp and a little surprised. "Oh, no, he's dead. He found a little corner to die in instead of facing justice, but he's dead."
no subject
The Chief is not good at having friends.
But when he does, he's serious about it.
no subject
It's short and quiet, but it's there. That was one of the last things he'd ever expect to hear from Chief; therefore, it's fucking hysterical.
The moment passes, and a thought sneaks in in its wake: where do they go from here?
He honestly doesn't know.
"Where do we stand right now?" The question is out of his mouth before he has a chance to really think about it, but it's not like it didn't need to be asked.
no subject
"I understand some things better than I did before," he says. Understatement.
"I'm not upset about anything."
This conversation has been a rollercoaster, though.
"You?"
no subject
"Just-"
He risks starting the fight again, but he can't let this go. "I've lost a lot of people for a lot of bullshit reasons. I don't want you to be one of them."
no subject
He's not used to it being because of that.
"I'll do my best," he says. It's the most reassurance he can give.
"Besides. You need me around if you're going to explain to me who Ghostface is."
Still friends, Wash.