legionworld | training solves all problems [closed]

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training solves all problems [closed]

Who| Gohan and Videl
What| Gohan has become acutely aware of just how much training he needs.
Where| Gohan's biome
When| Sometime after Brainy confirms that the Time Trapper was correct, but before Trunks shows up.
Warnings/Notes| It's gonna get really psychological in here.

He hadn't been sure where to start with his training, exactly. He wasn't as experienced as his father was in this regard, so it was difficult to nail down what he needed to do. Every time he trained back home, it was always with someone else. By himself though... the problem became that much more pronounced.

So Gohan thought about it logically.

His powers were super strength and energy manipulation (to a smaller degree). He needed to find out how far he could push those powers in his current state. Super strength would've had to involve fighting someone, or just attacking something that could take it. So he decided to focus on energy manipulation, and see just how control he had over his energy reserves.

"Alright..."

He was as focused as he could possibly be right now. A dull golden glow surrounding his body, as he condensed his aura into an energy shield around him. He needed to see how much damage he could take while holding this shield, needed to see how much focus he needed to maintain it. And so, he outstretched his arms forward... and while holding the shield, fired twin energy blasts. Getting a few shots out, making sure they were powerful enough... before moving his hands up, and guiding the energy blasts up and over, into an arc...

And directly at him.

He tightened his hands into fists to each side of him, gritting his teeth. The blasts weren't too much of a drain, but firing them while maintaining his shield was already straining his focus a bit. It didn't matter, they were coming now. And this wasn't even the first time he'd done this particular exercise today. "Here goes...!"

The consecutive blasts hit. The explosions rocked the area around him. The ground below him was riddled with uprooted earth, showing just how many times he'd done this. But the shield held, even if Gohan was starting to look particularly exhausted.

"Alright... again!"

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"So this is where you've been hiding."

As the smoke dissipated and the dirt settled, Videl floated over to where Gohan was training and landed on the ground in front of him. She brushed her hands over her shirt, even though she had only picked up a little bit of dust when she was flying in close.

"I've been looking all over for you," she announced, looking up at him with a pointed glare. It was no small challenge to search the entirety of the Legion World for someone, especially when there were so many places he found interesting.

She hadn't been worried for the first few hours. It wasn't like she felt like she had to be around Gohan all the time. But after having breakfast, working out, relaxing in the living room of the apartment-like quarters they shared, and then having lunch, Videl was starting to get concerned. Gohan never missed meals. Odds always guaranteed that Videl would be around to share at least one meal with Gohan.

So after she staked out the cafeteria for two whole hours and saw neither hide nor hair of her boyfriend, she knew something was up. And that nagging suspicion eventually lead her to Gohan's biodome, which she let herself into without waiting for permission.

"You came out here to train and didn't even tell me?" Videl looked around at all the little craters, a little dejected that he hadn't invited her to train with him.

Gohan hadn't been expecting Videl to show up in the middle of his training, honestly. Something that became incredibly obvious, given the completely stupefied look on his face as he turned to face her. He wasn't aware that she was looking for him, and for a moment, he couldn't help a little bad for it, wondering if maybe he'd been training too long...

But he dismissed that thought as quickly as it came. He needed to train. There was just... no other option.

"S-Sorry..." He muttered, before turning turning back around and clenching his fists to his side. Putting up his full-body energy shield again, and trying not to let it show just how exhausted he really was. "The whole... Chronoblivion thing has me on edge, I guess... I didn't mean to worry you."

Edited 2016-06-07 20:21 (UTC)

Any hint of dejection in her expression turned into a downright scowl as Gohan turned away. Was that it? A quick apology and then right back to training? Videl wasn't sure there had ever been a time before today when Gohan snubbed her for training. He spent most of his time avoiding it, except for a few rare occasions. She was usually the one snubbing him for training.

"Hang on a minute." Videl circled around Gohan so that she could face him head-on. "You've been out here all day training, haven't you?" She put her hands on her hips, giving him a knowing smile. "Why don't you take a break for five minutes? After that, since I came all the way out here, we can spar. It's only so useful to train by yourself."

She didn't let it show on her face, but the sight of Gohan behind his energy shield concerned Videl. Even through the aura, she could see that he looked haggard. That he brought up the threat of Chronoblivion without any prompting only added to her worries; Gohan wasn't really the most forthcoming person on the planet, even after everything they'd been through.

Gohan didn't exactly do it on purpose, really. He just grew up under very strange circumstances, and his mother had made it very clear that people weren't ready to accept that. As such, he was used to hiding the stranger aspects of his life, not through lies, but through omissions. And it was taking Gohan a while to adjust to the idea that he didn't really need to do that with Videl anymore...

Which was why he wasn't sure how to answer her.

"I-I uh..." He stammered, faltering a bit. A part of him actually welcoming the idea of both a break and a sparring partner... while another part of him was convinced that if he was gonna train like he used to, that he shouldn't drag her down with him. "I... guess?" He ultimately relented. "I-If you really want to..."

"Of course I really want to," Videl replied with a smile. Gohan's unhidden awkwardness was endearing to her sometimes. There was nothing fake about him, not like everything else in her life, and the honestly was refreshing. Even before they were close and he was trying to hide all his extraordinary secrets, it was only that. There were no lies, no tricks, no exaggerations with Gohan.

She surveyed the battle marred landscape. "Hey, Computer thing!" she shouted toward the sky. "Fix all this stuff!" Such a vague request really should have gone unheeded, but the computer programs that ran the biomes were unimaginably sophisticated. A little 'blip' of adjustment and the pockmarked terrain returned to its original smooth, grassy state.

Pleased by the results, Videl flopped down onto the grass with a pleased sigh. "Sit," she instructed to Gohan, as though he might not.

Edited 2016-06-09 18:24 (UTC)

Gohan couldn't help but frown a bit as he moved to sit in front of Videl. Not because he was upset, but because he was... concerned, really. He wasn't sure if training with Videl was a good idea, especially given how intense his training could get. Sure, she was ready and willing to do it, but... would it have been okay? Would it have been too much? Would it make things worse if they ended up training together, and Videl realized he was too much for her? Especially given the scale of the enemy they were training to fight again?

"..." Gohan wasn't sure what to say. Heck, he couldn't even look her in the eye right now. He just kept staring down at his legs, frowning. "... Videl, I..." His hands tightened on his thigh, gripping his pants. "There's... a lot of stuff we haven't talked about... concerning my... past..."

He paused for a moment, tightening his grip. He was visibly tense, trying his hardest to continue, even if he couldn't look at her. "... And I'm scared that, if we train together, it's going to be too much for you."

Annoyance flared up inside Videl, immediately taking offense that Gohan was writing her off as being too weak to train with him. How dare he underestimate her like that! Maybe that was true back home (much as Videl loathed to admit it), but here at the Legion, they were on more or less equal footing; Videl had been granted amazing powers while many of Gohan's were suppressed.

She turned to him to retort, but bit back her words when she saw how tense he looked. Maybe there was more to his concerns than just worrying about her ability to keep up with him in training. They'd never trained together back home-- not outside of Gohan teaching her how to fly. And Videl had suspected that Gohan was still keeping things about his past a secret from her. The anger faded from her face.

"How come?" she asked. It was difficult to be patient in waiting for Gohan to explain his reasoning rather than assaulting him with the dozens of questions that came to her mind. (Gohan didn't deal well with probing questions, as Videl was intimately aware.)

He'd never really had to put this into words before, he was starting to realize. His entire life up until the Cell Games was never something he had to explain to others, because the only people he knew were already involved. His father, their family friends, they were the only people Gohan had ever known. Really, it wasn't until high school that he'd ever interacted with other people in any meaningful way... and the difficulties of that were starting to show, by virtue of trying to incorporate Videl into that incredibly strange life he'd always called normal.

"B-Before you ask, I don't think you're weak." Gohan looked up suddenly, as if the realization of how his words might've come off just hit him. "I-I mean, back home, I always held back because I didn't want to do anything to hurt you, but... I-I understand that there's not much of a gap between us here, so no, that's not it..."

He tilted his head down again, looking down at his legs. Biting his lower lip, and tightening his grip on his pants. "... I... I never enjoyed fighting." He finally admitted. "I mean, I'm good at it, and everyone tells me about how powerful I could be if I just trained... but..." He gulped down the dry lump in his throat. "I never wanted it. I liked reading books more. I always thought learning was more interesting, and I always get really excited to find something new to learn."

"... But I never got a lot of chances to do that when I was a kid." He paused for a moment, closing his eyes to take a breath. The more he spoke, the more anxious he got, but he needed to push past that if he wanted to explain this to Videl. "I've been fighting since I was... four, I think. Not because I wanted to, but because if I didn't, people would die." A pause. "And it kept happening, over and over. First the Saiyans landing on East City, then Frieza on Planet Namek, then the androids built by Dr. Gero, then Cell."

Finally, after another pause, he admitted out loud:

"And I think... that had a bad effect on me when it comes to training."

Videl watched Gohan patiently as he spoke, aware of the tension in his body, the way he kept his head down and his gaze away from her. It was a lot like when they'd first talked about his past, some time after Buu was defeated and things started to go back to normal. He had promised to do so when they parted ways after the World Tournament and Videl held him too that, especially in light of everything his friends and family told her while they were hiding on the Lookout. (If not for Videl's prompting, Gohan probably would have avoided this conversation for a little longer.)

But although they had talked about this, Videl still didn't felt like she knew all that much about Gohan's life before high school. She knew the facts, sure, but only that; Videl knew the 'who, what, when, and where' of his life, but the 'why' had always eluded her. Back home, Gohan explained his childhood to her with evident reservations; it was clear he didn't know how to talk about these things with anyone outside his family and his father's friends. Even then, Videl wasn't sure Gohan talked to them very much either, not about stuff like this. Not about how he felt. She didn't know if there was anyone he confided in about that.

That was the kind of person Gohan was, though-- one who shouldered the responsibilities and expectations placed on him without a complaint. This realization clicked in Videl's mind as he spoke, the thread that connected the crazy life he lived, the stressful childhood that Videl had been struggling to comprehend ever since she learned about it. A lifetime of self-sacrifice was why Gohan had turned out this way: honest, hard working, and terrified of failure. To juxtapose her childhood against his was to compare lead with gold. She and Gohan were the same age, but Videl couldn't even fathom the life he'd lived up until now. When Videl was five, her mother died; when Gohan was five, he had nearly died himself on an alien planet while fighting an evil galactic empire. Their lives didn't even compare.

Videl shifted position, pulling her legs up against her chest and tucking her knees under her chin. She watched Gohan, even though he wasn't looking at her, studying him in a different light. He didn't like to fight. It was who he was, at his core, and Videl found that the knowledge didn't disappoint her. In fact, it made her more concerned about him than anything else.

"What happens when you're training?" Videl asked. Of all the things she wanted to ask, this one felt the most pressing. Everything added up, but something about this last admission felt somewhat foreboding.

What happens when you're training?

That question felt like a brick digesting in his stomach. He knew it was coming, but somehow, it only served to fill him with an immense amount of dread. In that moment, every single instance when he trained to fight a bigger threat came rushing back to him. And in that same moment, he came to a startling realization.

He was terrified that Videl would be scared of him.

"... If we don't stop Chronoblivion, everyone will die." He said, as if he'd prepared that statement. As if he'd been saying it over and over to himself. As if it had become his mantra. "If I don't figure out a way to become stronger, or master the powers I have now, I..." He didn't even know what he would do, honestly. He just knew it couldn't come to that. "I have to figure it out. I can't fail. I've failed so many times, I just... I can't. I'll kill myself training if I have to, I just..."

His grip on his pants was deadly. So unbelievably tight, he was pretty sure he was puncturing his own skin.

"I've seen so many people die because I was too scared to act, or because I tried to solve things peacefully, or because I let my power get to my head, or because I just wasn't strong enough. It can't happen again, not with stakes this high."

Videl frowned, brows knitting together. It wasn't the way he didn't answer he question that annoyed her. Nor was it the reminder of the unwieldy new threat that loomed over them with the defeat of Galactus. It was the myriad of 'I' statements Gohan was making and the self centered nature of them all made Videl's temper flare.

"Since when are you the only one fighting Chronoblivion?" she snapped. "I got the impression we were part of the Legion of Superheroes, not the Everyone Expects Gohan to be Our Savior Club."

Videl huffed angrily, surging to her feet. "You just got done telling me you don't like fighting, but now you're acting like you're the only one who's going to face Chronoblivion. Do you know how selfish that sounds? What about the rest of us? This isn't just up to you, Gohan!"

And somehow, that was the statement that made him crack. That was the statement that made a swell of anger flare up inside him, much too quickly for him to catch.

This isn't just up to you, Gohan!

"IT'S ALWAYS UP TO ME THOUGH!" He yelled out before he could catch himself, louder than he'd intended. Eyes widening, when he realized he'd just yelled at Videl. And immediately, he shrank back into himself, as if he'd just touched a hot stove. "S-Sorry, I... I didn't mean to yell, I-I just..."

This was it. This was what happened when he trained.

He became obsessed with his own shortcomings.

Videl took a step back in surprise. Gohan had never so much as lost his temper with her before, much less yelled at her. She knew from hearsay on the Lookout that Gohan had an incredible amount of anger deep inside him, but Videl had barely seen hint of it before now. Gohan rarely lost control of himself.

The shock wasn't enough to hold her back for long, though. Videl's scowl deepened and she stood up straighter, compensating for her lack of height.

"You just what?" she prodded. "Said what you really think?"

Well that just brought a bit of a scowl to Gohan's face. A part of him just a smidge annoyed that Videl kept prodding, even when he was trying his best to keep himself composed. He looked down again, making sure to not look her in the eye. Before finally, even through all his scowling and frustration, he spoke.

"I got my father killed twice."

The way Gohan threw that blunt statement in her face made Videl go silent. It surprised her a bit, but this was something she already knew. The first time was in a fight against Gohan's paternal uncle; the second time was against Cell. Videl wanted to argue that neither instance was really Gohan's fault, but she had a feeling that would just make things worse.

She crossed her arms, her gaze locked on him. “That's not the the point. This is about you and being a part of the Legion, not your dad.”

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew Videl was right. He wasn't really providing her with a good explanation, he was just throwing out shocking statements to throw her off. That wasn't helpful, nor was it necessary. But right now, with the amount of frustration boiling up inside him, he just... wasn't thinking straight.

"No, this is about the fact that I can't stop thinking about my failures, even when I have an entire team of people I should be able to rely on!" Gohan finally snapped, looking up at Videl. Pushing himself up to his feet, and finally just... unloading.

"Every time I train, all I can think about is how I'll fail! No matter what happens, no matter how hard I train, no matter how much I prepare, something happens that I could've prevented if I just trained right the first time! Piccolo wouldn't have died if I had fought Nappa! Krillin wouldn't have died if I'd just helped against Frieza! My dad wouldn't have died if I'd just killed Cell!"

His breathing grew heavy, his fists tightening to each side of him. His body growing tense, as he just... kept going. "So I train as hard as I can! So hard, that I don't even care about what happens to me! If I have to become a soldier to make sure everyone I care about stays alive, then I'll do it! I just..." He paused, glancing to the side.

"I don't want anyone else to die anymore. I just... don't."

With Gohan standing before her pouring his heart out, Videl’s temper softened a little. Maybe it wasn't selfishness or overconfidence driving what he was saying. Maybe it was guilt.

“So you've just been blaming yourself for everything bad that's happened since you were little?” she asked, voice losing its harsh edge. Anger was still evident in her eyes, but concern had rejoined it. “My mom died in East City because of the Saiyans; are you gonna blame yourself for that too?” This wasn't news to him; it had come up the first time they talked about his past.

Videl lifted a hand and slowly reached out toward Gohan, brushing her fingers over his arm. Hopefully a little bit of outside contact would draw him out of the vice grip of his childhood memories.

“I can't promise no one's gonna die anymore now that you're fighting with a team, but the blame isn't going to be on your shoulders.” Not that she believed the blame was ever squarely on his shoulders. “Killing yourself in training and on missions isn't what's going to stop Chronoblivion: teamwork is.”

Videl pressed her hand flat against Gohan's forearm, pursing her lips. “Training like you don't care what happens to you isn't gonna help either. It's going to make you take stupid risks and put yourself in danger. It's going to get your teammates hurt trying to help you.”

She gripped his arm, looking up at his face. “You have to train what's in your head too. How strong you are doesn't mean anything if you're defeating yourself up here.” She reached up with her free hand and shoved her index finger squarely in the center of his forehead.

Edited 2016-08-29 13:39 (UTC)

Gohan honestly wished he could believe her. Everything she was saying made sense, and logically speaking, he knew it was the truth. They needed to work together, to find out what their strength and weaknesses were, to become an actual unit instead of just a bunch of individuals...

But so much of that was so foreign to Gohan, that he wasn't sure if he could even grasp it. How many times did they have to rely on one person to save the day? How many times did their tactics involve delaying the opponent with one-on-one fights? How many times did they push past impossible limits just because the situation called for it? It was such a common thing, that it had become a constant. A new enemy was here? Then they either had to hope they were strong enough, or get stronger.

The amount of times they actually came together, and tried to fight someone as a unit, could be counted with one hand. And somehow, that made Gohan feel like the biggest idiot in the world, for neglecting such an obvious thing.

"... I've always had to fight alone..." Gohan murmured, the energy seemingly sapped out of him. "I've never... had to think about how to fight alongside others..." A pause, as he remembered Frieza. "At least, not to win..."

Videl kept her hand on Gohan's arm, feeling a pang of sympathy for him. On the outside, he always seemed so strong and capable to her, but his confidence seemed to evaporate if you dug a little too deep.

"Well, maybe that's where you should start your training," Videl announced after a minute or two of contemplative silence.

"I'm serious," she entreated. "And I know it's gonna be easier said than done. I'm not really used to fighting on a team either."

"But we figured out how to fight crime together in Satan City," she reminded him, blushing a bit with embarrassment. Costumed heroing still invoked all sorts of embarrassment in Videl, much as she was secretly starting to enjoy it. "So we should be able to do that here too."

That earned a soft chuckle from Gohan, even if it wasn't the most energetic chuckle in the world. The thought of them fighting crime together in Satan City always made him smile, if only because of how liberating it was. He knew the posing and everything was embarrassing to Videl, and that not a lot of people took him seriously because of it. But somehow, being able to do such blatantly silly things under the guise of a superhero persona...

It just felt great. It made him feel like an actual comic book superhero, wacky hijinks and all.

"You know... we haven't really been fighting normal crime since we got here, now that I think about it..." Gohan couldn't help but muse, still smiling a bit. It was a bit low-energy, but understandably so. "We've been handling so many serious threats, that we haven't really focused on the usual posing and such..."

His mention of posing brought a bit more fuel to the fire that was rising in Videl’s cheeks. “N-No, we haven't really had a chance.” Braal has been more about disaster relief than fighting bad guys and the fight with Harrow in the massacred church was too intense for a hero of justice speech.

When she first met Gohan, Videl’s reaction to this would have been insisting that there was no place for stuff like that here. But really.... this was exactly the place for it. They weren't just playing at super heroes; they were super heroes. And being Saiyaman was one of the times when Videl saw Gohan at his happiest.

And seeing him happy had quickly become a significant goal in her life without her fully realizing it.

“We’re probably really out of practice,” She agreed, nodding.

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training solves all problems [closed]

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right in the fucking feels.....

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