legionworld | Legion and the Two Pines

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Legion and the Two Pines

Who| Closed to Dipper and Mabel
What| Dipper and Mabel reunite
Where| Medbay
When| Before Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
Warnings/Notes| N/A

Dipper was eating when his omnicom beeped. When he pulled it out, Dr. Gym'll appeared on the screen.

"Mr. Pines, a moment of your time?"

"Uh, sure. Do I need to come to Medbay for something?"

He was supposedly done all his telepathic treatments and was only supposed to get more if he still had problems.

"No, no, it's just you asked us to contact you if the rescue team picked up someone we thought might be your sis--Mr. Pines?"

At "your sis--" Dipper was already off, running towards Medbay in a dead sprint, omnicom clutched in his hand, moving as fast as his tiny legs could carry him. Which was not fast enough--

"Oh yeah, I can fly."

Duh.

He took to the air, his teke propelling him along even faster than his flight ring could carry him.

Ever since that thing with the dinosaurs, he'd hoped desperately that Mabel would show up, that it wasn't just a hello and a goodbye all at once. Seeing her there had been better than not seeing her at all, but her showing up to the Legion's universe would've been even better still. Yes, it was dangerous here, but he knew Mabel would rather be here with him in the middle of the action rather than stuck back at home while he was fighting alone, even with no time passing while he was gone.

And she was right that the two of them could take on basically anything together. He knew pretty much objectively that the multiverse had a much better chance of surviving if they could fight Chronoblivion side by side.

He skidded to a stop when he reached Medbay.

"Where? Wherewherewhere?" he asked the nurses and they pointed at the door to Mabel's Medbay room. "Is she awake?"

"Yes, she's--"

"Don't care!" Dipper cried out, running through the door to her room. "Mabel!"

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"Dipper, I made it!" She answers, from the edge of her bed. She's seated there next to Waddles and she's happily kicking her feet.

After she'd woken up, she asked about Dipper and Waddles in succession. Learning that they both existed and were presumably safe had made her receptive to the information the strange people wanted to relay. After that though, she demanded her pig. She wouldn't take "He's comfortably resting in a place more suited to an animal." For an answer. The screaming that ensued was what brought them around to her way of thinking.

By the time she asked for Dipper, he was likely already on his way.

"You didn't tell me I was getting sent to a poison death swa--" She's interrupted by a coughing fit. Caused by recent poison gas inhalation or by passionate pleas for Waddles? The world may never know.

So she did remember the dinosaurs. That was definitely the Time Trapper pulling shenanigans. He wondered if the whole thing had been a test to figure out who he wanted to kidnap next.

"Oh. Yeah. Forgot to mention the frozen death planet. Whoops."

Dipper hurtled over towards her and threw his arms around her, hugging her again. She was going to get a lot of that over the next few days: an exorbitant amount of aggressive hugging. It wasn't like the two of them never hugged and after everything in Gravity Falls, they hugged a lot more often, but they fulfilled a lot of their physical affection quotas through things like casual poking, occasional noogie-ing, and aggressive fist-bumping.

This much hugging was a little unusual. But the situation was a little unusual.

"Think about it this way: it's kind of like a rite of initiation. If you nearly cough out a lung and die, you're one of us."

Wow, not even an awkward sibling hug. Not that she's opposed, she's definitely hugging back. She's just glad that if there's going to be a terrifying space adventure, they're going on it together.

"Waddles is one of us too. Have you ever seen him cough? It's amazing!" She pulls out of the hug, and starts simultaneously petting and prodding the pig gently. "Come on Waddles, you know you need to... Just a little one." Yeah, he's not coughing.

"Oh well, he'll probably do it again." She says, glancing around nervously. What if he doesn't, and the moment is never cataloged?!

Dipper climbed up onto the bed with her, kicking off his boots and sitting criss cross applesauce next to her.

"Even if he doesn't do it again, you're going to see all kinds of weird animals making all kinds of weird noises!"

He pulled a notebook out of one of the pouches in his belt -- one actually made of paper. He'd had to find it in a specialty shop. Pretty much everything was digital in the Legion's universe.

He flipped it open to show her a weird animal that looked like it was made of multiple gaseous bladders.

"That's a species that primarily communicates with fart sounds."

Truly, the wonders of this strange alien future were boundless.

"Mabel, you won't believe all the stuff that's here! There are a million different species of aliens, and all different weird alien animals, and some of the food is weird and gross and awesome, and even the TV shows and commercials are crazy."

Yet the infomercials somehow seemed exactly the same, even if the products were alien and futuristic.

"TV shows have, like, ten different endings! And you click on the screen to pick which one you want."

Edited 2016-09-03 08:38 (UTC)

"WHAT?!" She cries, obviously over television. The future truly is the peak of human existence. "But, can we watch the other endings too? Maybe there's a Ducktective where Steve doesn't... Well, you know. At least there's gotta be a remake or something." She's going to figure out how to use the TV and find out later.

She looks back at his journal. She wouldn't call that species of alien cute or anything (which she was honestly hoping for in an alien), but it was still pretty funny.

"Fart noises, really Dipper? We already knew someone who communicated that way!" She laughs, but it dies off faster than it should have, and she clears her throat. She was already sad about leaving Gravity Falls once. Maybe it's best not to reminisce yet.

"What about the food? When can we have some?" She looks over at the door, which had closed again after Dipper made his entrance. She cups her hands around her mouth before she starts screaming "HELLO! HUNGRY CHILDREN IN HERE! WE'RE BEING NEGLECTEEEEED!"

One of the nurses, a purple woman with one eye, poked her head in, looking slightly alarmed. She hadn't really had a patient that yelled so much before and looked understandably perturbed over it.

"Hello, Mabel, you said you're hungry?" said the nurse. "How does a pizza with tofu and soystix sound?"

"Oh. Uh. That's the only big downside: the food," Dipper admitted. "Everything's vegan. Everything."

No bacon. Fake cheese. Tacos without meat.

It was a glorious future but just one step away from true perfection.

At that revelation, she turns a weird pale color. One that she may have never been before.

"Dipper..." She says it slowly, totally ignoring the nurse now.

"What about..." She turns toward him almost robotically.

"NACHOS?!" She reaches out suddenly, her hands clamping down on his shoulders. "Tell me about nachos, Dipper. Tell me they're not that plastic cheese that doesn't ever melt. TELL ME."

The nurse stood at the door, confused, then just shook her head and decided to go off and get Mabel and Dipper some pizza.

Dipper shook his head sadly.

"I'm sorry, Mabel," he said, his pronouncement as serious it would've been if someone had died. "It's soy. It's all soy."

"No... NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She slides off the bed as she screeches out her protest. She lands on her knees and bangs her fist on the floor. "Why?! YOU MANIACS!! DARN YOU!" She hasn't yet realized that they're away from all the adults who care about them so they could get more colorful with their language if they felt so inclined (she doesn't).

She flops over on the floor, and reaches up to dipper pathetically. "I won't make it, Brother. Please, save the universes in my honor. And walk Waddles every day. And invite Grenda and Candy to my funeral. Goodbye cruel life..."

Dipper dropped down to the floor with her, fully indulging in her dramatics.

"Hey, there's at least weird alien stuff to eat," he said encouragingly. "And the ice cream! I told you about the ice cream, remember? That's soy too -- but you can't even taste it! There are like hundreds of ice cream flavors."

He knew nachoes were a great loss, something to be grieved. And so were pizza and hot dogs and bacon. But some of the alien food was amazing and thanks to the ice cream, he now knew what blorple tasted like.

"You can do this," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "You just have to be strong. And make sure any pizza you eat has more sauce than cheese."

She nods solemnly. The ice cream sounded good. Syrup comes from trees, so that's not out. She's not sure where soda stands, and she's too afraid to ask. "Waddles will be happy... No one will want to eat him."

That's really the best upside she can muster.

"When do we get to leave the hospital? I'd rather have the ice cream than the barksticks or whatever it was."

"I guess that depends on if you feel like you're dying or not, and how well you think you can sneak right now."

Dipper was all for escaping the Medbay as long as she wasn't going to flop over and die. He'd spent enough time there himself and hated being in it now, and he didn't blame Mabel for wanting to leave. It wasn't exactly an intimidating or creepy place. As far as hospitals went, it was actually pretty nice, but it wasn't the same as camping out in front of the TV.

So, he decided he'd just steal his sister. No big.

"As long as you feel okay, we can ignore the doctors and go to one of the common rooms, and I'll scrounge us up some ice cream."

"You know, I'm feeling surprisingly better! This is a really good hospital!"

She gets to her feet, stretching her arms back and taking a deep breath just to show how healthy she actually is. Sure that breath turns into a slightly weird wheeze, but it's no big deal. She feels fine.

She plucks Waddles from the bed, since he's not the best with directions. Then she turns back to Dipper.

"What's the plan?"

"I'll ask the nurses to get a whole bunch of stuff we don't actually need and once they're out of the way, we'll make a run for it."

They tended to bend over backwards to get things for patients to make them more comfortable.

Dipper put his boots back on and walked out to the nurse's station.

"Hi, my sister needs a bunch of stuff and I do, too, if that'd be okay?" He affected a little sigh. "Because...you know."

"Oh, of course. What do you need?"

"Markers, please? And some paper, if you can find any -- otherwise we'll just use the walls." Just like he'd done during his stay in Medbay. "Also some soda. Also, also, maybe some extra blankets? One of the nurses went to get food for me and my sister, but her pig needs to eat too, so maybe some pig feed?"

"Oh. Uh. Of course." The nurse got up and gave directions to the other nurses to find what he was asking for. Since it was so many things, all the nurses assigned to Mabel's room had to go look around.

He went back and waved her out.

"The coast is clear!"

Okay, so that was a pretty good plan. but, was it fool-proof? Mabel's not entirely sure. That's why, while Dipper was out setting things into motion, she devised a surefire backup plan. And is she going to jump the gun and use it now?

Yes.

She bursts out of her room, holding Waddles high above her head. "MAKE WAY PEOPLE, WE'VE GOT A PREGNANT PIG HERE!"

She's going to start running down a hall, and hopefully it's the right one.

"COMING THROUGH! IT'S AN EMERGENCY, HE'S IN LABOR!"

Dipper slapped his hand on his face and dragged it down. There went his cunning plan. Then, because he didn't really have much choice, he joined in, hoping it was enough of a spectacle that people were too shocked to stop them from leaving.

"You, go boil some water, and you, go find some clean sheets!"

It turned out to be confusing enough that no one followed them or questioned what they were doing until long after they got out the door. They ran down the hall, free of interference.

"I can't believe that actually worked."

She shrugs before holding Waddles up to Dipper, so that they're nose to snout. "Who could question this face??"

She laughs, and pulls the pig away, hugging him tightly. "Oh Dipper, we have to stop at some stores. I need paper, I need glitter. Markers. Fancy scissors. Glue. Probably some gemstones... Oh and yarn. I mean, I can't go walking around like this forever."

Hopefully synthetic yarn still exists in the vegan future!

"See, that would be a slight problem because that wasn't just a normal hospital we left," Dipper said, as they went through an automatic door.

He was smiling widely, because this was one of the best parts of being in the Legion's universe.

"Getting to the nearest store is kind of a long trip," he said, gesturing to a huge window in the hallway.

The window showed the outside of Legion World. In the far distance was the Lunar Debris Field, glowing faintly in the reflected light of the sun like the moon once had. And down below was the planet Earth, a mostly-blue jewel floating in the dark void of space.

"We can take a field trip to Earth later to make sure your glitter supplies are fully stocked, but using the threshold hub to get there will prooobably have to wait until we're not hiding from the doctors."

"This one's a real window?" She's already been tricked once here. That was a fun merry-go-round of questions about the city outside that didn't exist. Still, she makes her way closer, so she and Waddles can stare out.

So much was different from the pictures she'd seen from spaceflight. Most notably the Moon. She actually looks kind of upset about it. Probably not the normal reaction people give when seeing it for the first time. And likely not the one Dipper expected.

It was pretty intimidating when you thought about it. And the moon really was kind of destroyed. Dipper's shoulders drooped a little as he remembered that not everyone's reaction to finding out they were in some weird future place was going to be "YESSS" because they spent a lot of time reading sci fi instead of making friends.

"I know everything's all crazy, and the moon is kind of gone, and most of the food is hopeless and vegan, and it's a lot to take in -- but it really is amazing here. Eventually, we'll get to go home, but in the meantime, it's --"

He tried to find the words.

"It's this place where there are all these different species, and maybe they fight sometimes, but they mostly get along. And the Legion is like this big symbol of that. The ones that are from this universe are all different species, and they all work together for something bigger than they are. They fight to protect people and --"

He scratched the back of his neck.

"And it's a place that's all about hope, where all these people want to make a whole galaxy better."

Which made it Mabel's kind of place, really. It was a future as hopeful as she was.

"It's a way better future than a giant baby enforcing a totalitarian regime by blasting people with eyebeams every time it needs a diaper change. It's just...a little intimidating at first."

This was so much bigger than saving just one town -- or even one world. The bigness was easy to get lost in.

"You're forgetting something." For a moment, she seems like she might still be upset, despite his thoughtful words. "Why do people look at the sky on dates, Dipper?"

"Sure, for stars, but that's not all! Because there's a big dumb romantic moon that makes people fall in love!" When she turns to face him again, it's a little more obvious that she's not totally upset anymore. "No one fell in love from a bunch of rocks!"

Sure, it's a valid and concerning point. But, the corners of her mouth upturn just a little. And she might give him a light punch of gratitude (if such a thing exists) in his shoulder.

"There better be another way for the True Vampire Blood vampires to reveal their purple tinted luminescence at night time with no moon." How else will she find them all?

Of course she was more worried about the moon and its effect on romance than on the cosmic bigness of it all. Of course.

He tried to find some other way of comforting her.

"The ship we're in? Legion World? It's the size of a moon, and people can see it from Earth. And it's big and round and has sparkly lights on it. So, if you think about it, we're living in the new moon."

And it had multicolored glittery lights on it.

Wasn't that even better than the normal moon existing?

"Hm, I did want to live on the moon.." She scratches the side of her face thoughtfully. "But that was before you said it's not cheese."

She does look a whole lot more cheered up by the idea. Enough to laugh and point at him before she goes on. "Ha! I bet you wish you hadn't said that now! We could've had moon cheese nachos!"

"I'm sure that my saying the moon wasn't made of cheese was what made it turn into being made of rocks," Dipper said dryly, but he was still smiling as he signaled her to follow him.

Ice cream and alien TV awaited them. So did more of Legion World. There were plenty of interesting things and people to see on the way to the kitchens and the common rooms.

"So. Asking if you have any questions would be dumb but do you have any questions you want answers to right right now?"

Suuuuure. If that helps Dipper sleep at night, thinking he didn't deprive the world of moon cheese.

And of course, she has approximately 8 billion burning questions, but how to narrow it down? Of course, she wants to know about fashion, but Dipper's not going to be able to help there. She already covered how terrible food is. She can probably find out what new boybands there are from TV, so that leaves...

"Where do we live and is there anything in your new journal about alien vampires? Since I can't find moonlight ones anymore, thanks Dipper."

Yeah, now the moon being gone is his fault too.

Edited 2016-09-04 01:13 (UTC)

"We get to live in living quarters here on Legion World, but there's this really cool Habitat Deck where they can build whatever you want! Parks, forests, anything! There are a bunch of places there that look like parts of alien planets."

They were moving towards parts of the ship that had more foot traffic now. A blue woman passed them in the hallway. A man that was reading a file, that nearly walked into Mabel, suddenly split into three identical triplets to walk around her.

"So far I haven't run into any alien vampires but Earth ones might still exist? Possibly? Just because there's all this space stuff doesn't mean there isn't any weird supernatural stuff left. There's still magic and spirits and paranormal weirdness and space stuff."

Edited 2016-09-04 02:54 (UTC)

The second half of the explanation falls on deaf ears thanks to the sights around them. She very nearly walks into Dipper after being sidestepped by the crazy self-splitting guy. She looks back over her shoulder to watch him for a moment, before leaning closer to whisper, as if he might still hear.

"Did you see that?? Is that an alien or a superpower? Could you imagine if I could do that?! If there were three of me, this would be happening to you times three!" She reaches over and pokes the side of his face with a casual "Boop."

"Imagine it, Dipper!" She starts poking repeatedly. "Imagiiiiiiiiiine!"

"That'd mean three of you that'd all be able to poke me at the same time. I think I'll pass," he said, but he still patiently let her poke him repeatedly. "He's a Carggite. They're a whole alien species that looks like humans but they can split into three separate autonomous people!"

And Carggites were just some of the human-looking ones.

"The Cafeteria's this way," Dipper said, pointing down a hallway. "That's where we can get future ice cream."

But that meant going where there were more people. The upside? Mabel could see more aliens. The downside? They might want to talk to them both and there was one tiny little detail he had to make sure Mabel didn't reveal.

"So, Mabel, uh, you didn't happen to tell any of the medical people our age, did you? By any chance?"

"It di-- Waaaaaiiiiit a minute." She'd very nearly given him a straight answer, thanks to being so distracted by their surroundings.

"You lied about how old we are, didn't you? I should have seen this coming, after last time." She's staring at him now, shaking her head with disapproval. She's also not watching where they're going at all. "You're addicted to lying now! Do you even know how old we really are, Dipper?! I'll give you a hint. It's more than 3 and less than 27."

Meanwhile, people are having to step around her. A few might even be grunting angrily and muttering about how she should watch where she's going.

"SSSH! Not so loud!" He moved in close so he could talk quietly.

He clenched and unclenched his hands fitfully, trying to figure out some way to explain that would convince her to keep up the lie with him.

"It's different this time! Last time, it was a sad and pitiful attempt to seem cooler than I am. This time it's so we can actually do something."

He explained, "The galactic age of adulthood is fourteen in the UP. So to be a Legionnaire, and do adult stuff, you have to be at least fourteen. That means the only way they'll let us help fight back is if they think we're a year older than we are."

And it was important that they fight back. Otherwise they'd just have to sit there and feel powerless while the world was ending.

"Mabel, if they find out our real age, all this bad stuff will be happening and they won't let us help fight. And we can help. Look at everything we did before we even had superpowers."

He flailed a hand wildly.

"It's a stupid rule. Maybe it's true that most really young teenagers wouldn't be able to handle the superhero thing, but we're not most thirteen-year-olds. Even some of the grown ups on the team haven't faced things as horrible as the things we've faced. Some of them haven't faced supervillains or monsters or anything scary at all, and they get to be on the team no problem."

His expression was pleading.

"Do you really want to have to sit back and do nothing while something horrible like Bill tries to destroy every universe ever? While it tries to destroy our world and everyone we care about? When we already know we can handle stuff that big and scary?"

"You know I don't!" She heaves a sigh before going on. "I want to help too. But why would they bring us here when we aren't even the right age?"

Stupid future, can't even plan out its kidnappings right. Even she can see that they could have waited a year so as not to force innocent children to lie so that the universe could be rescued.

But really, stretching the truth isn't even the worst part.

"I won't say anything though." She assures him in a sullen tone. "Besides, if I was frozen back on the bus, you're older than I am now anyway."

"The Time Trapper brings us. He's...kind of psycho and wants to save the multiverse, whatever the cost. The Legion actually doesn't like what he's doing because he doesn't care who gets hurt trying to be a hero but they do. So they have their rules."

The Time Trapper didn't care about them, but they did.

When she pointed out the age difference, his shoulders sagged slightly. It was something he'd been upset about from the moment some of the other teens pointed out they were still visibly aging.

"I didn't really -- I think we're still the same --" He held his hand to his head and tried to see if they were the same height.

But... oh.

"Um. We're...mostly the same height?"

He possibly had a millimeter or two on her now, when the last time he'd seen her, she'd been a millimeter taller.

"We don't look different ages. It was only a few months."

It all sounded like excuses to his ears, though. Logically, he knew he shouldn't feel guilty for aging in the last few months -- it wasn't like he could help it -- but after promising they would grow up together, it felt horrible. Like he'd broken his promise.

"That's why I wanted you to be here so badly," he said miserably. "We promised each other we'd grow up together. But I couldn't stop it."

He really was older now. It was really starting to sink in now that she was here. Minutes had turned into months. She would never have that five minute head start on him ever again.

"I'm sorry."

He knew it was a stupid thing to apologize for, but after all his promises that he wouldn't leave her behind, he felt awful.

"Maybe -- maybe we can get Brainiac to cryogenically freeze me for a few months or...or something."

Edited 2016-09-09 06:06 (UTC)

"Pft. That's a dumb idea. Where would I get ice cream if you froze yourself?" She tries to laugh it off, but really, she'd rather have the height and age differences than be on her own for months. She isn't quite sure she'd be able to handle it like he has.

"I guess you didn't grow that much. Like, I'll probably be taller again in a few weeks." She manages to crack a smile and push him playfully. "And if we happen to find some more of those magic flashlight crystals we can fix it. Well, some of it."

Basically, just don't hang onto any ideas of going anywhere without her.

It was a relief to hear her play it off as not that much of a big deal.

And it was going to be better now.

"Mad science," he suggested brightly. "I bet Brainiac has something that can make you grow a few inches in his piles and piles of technology."

Clearly that meant they'd have to go annoy him a lot until he finally caved in and pulled out whatever growamatron or heightacombobulator he had hidden in that lab somewhere.

"We'll just have to annoy him into handing it over. We'll have plenty of downtime between missions to do that."

"Brainiac, Brainiac, Brainiac. Sounds like someone's found a new crush." She's really happy for him. She thought she'd be hearing about Wendy for the next 30 years.

And before he can even protest, Mabel catches sight of what's up ahead and yells. "DIPPER, IS THAT THE CAFETERIA?!" Pushing her brother out of the way, she makes a break for it. She zips around (and under, when possible) anyone in her path, screaming the whole way.

"ICE CREEEEEAAAAAAAAAM! I'M GONNA EAT IT!"

Dipper rolled his eyes.

"Brainiac's not --"

But then they reached the cafeteria and Mabel started screaming. All he could really do in response was smile and be grateful that he could be deafened by his sister screaming at the top of her lungs right now.

Truly, it was a gift and a privilege.

So he ran after her.

"You have to try the blorple-flavored kind! It tastes like if strawberries and the color purple had a neon baby..."

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Legion and the Two Pines

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