legionworld | Botany Lesson

Who| Rocket and you!
What| Rocket attempts to train a pack of plants. Attempts.
Where| Training gym
When| Pre-Tinker Tailor Hero Spy
Warnings/Notes| None.

Technically speaking, Rocket's plant creations didn't really need training. 'Suddenly become aggressive and smack people with thorny bits' wasn't that demanding of a task, and it was pretty straightforward. But Rocket knew of at least one plant who could be pretty damn clever (when he wasn't drinking from fountains like an idiot, or completely missing important things like don't start the plan yet) and it was enough to make him curious about what his constructs could pick up.

So far, the answer seemed to be 'not a whole lot'.

"Okay, now this is-hey! Pay attention!" he snapped, causing the pack of flowers to stop shuffling around on their roots and perk up their petals instead. "This here's the training room. We're gonna see what you can-quit poking that, what'd I just say?!"

The chastised flower scurried back to the rest of the pack.

Rocket blew out a sigh. "We're gonna see what you can do; maybe do a little teamwork. You guys do good, we'll work on shooting next."

That couldn't go wrong at all.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There were two ways one could respond to that.

There was the one Grif had taken, and gotten his butt kicked over, but then there was -

"That's awesome." Flowers with guns, man. It was like Plants Versus Zombies on steroids. Sam crouched down to get a closer look at the flower, giving it a little wave in response to what he guessed the petal wiggling meant. "Do they have names?"

"Not yet. I just got them recently, figured it'd be a good idea to have some plants ready to go. Can't always count on fighting in a place big on gardens," he said with a shrug. Even if his preference was still just to shoot whatever was annoying and/or trying to kill him, having some planty backup was nice.

The flower hopped a bit at the wave-and landed, clumsily-then skidded to a halt, moving its stalk around like it was trying to get a better look at Sam, lack of eyes or not.

...huh. That, actually, raised another question.

"Can they see?"

There wasn't anything remotely resembling eyes on the flower, but Sam had seen enough weird aliens to know that that was hardly a guarantee of anything.

That earned a laugh-and another shrug. "No clue! They can't talk to me, so if they're stumbling around blind, I don't know about it. They get around okay, though, so I guess they're picking up on something."

"They'd have to make noises for sonar, right? Maybe they're like those purple bug-people from...ugh, I forget the name of the planet, but they don't see, they just have really huge tongues and they smell with them and use that to figure out where people are."

He still has no idea how it makes any sense, but they didn't seem to have any problem avoiding walls and each other, so they must've been doing something right.

"...Haven't seen one of these guys with a tongue yet. Thorn teeth, sure, that shows up, but no tongues." It sounded like an idea, though. If teeth on a plant were bad, the sheer weirdness of a petal-y tongue could only make things worse for whoever was being chased by an irate rhododendron.

"I'm not sure how much of this they'll remember, either. They're not what you'd call geniuses."

"Might be better that way. Imagine if a super-intelligent plant army decided to turn on you."

Grif's fate would only be the beginning, with a bunch of angry fauna on the loose.

"Yeah, that's something I'm gonna try to not think about too hard." One flower started hopping up and down next to him, and he lifted it up to set it on his shoulder. "Everything I know about plants, I learned from Groot, so I'm kinda winging it. Haven't pissed 'em off yet, I think."

Sun, water, dirt seemed to be working out okay so far.

Aw. The plants were pretty cute, doing stuff like that, and Sam normally wasn't one to coo over things. But they were like...tiny unruly vegetable children or something, but without all the crying and smelling bad and things that tiny human children did to counteract their efforts to be cute.

"I wonder if they've had anyone with that power in the Legion before. Maybe they've seen the whole 'stuff never to do' routine."

"Maybe," Rocket said, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "Guess I could ask around. Although if anything had gone really bad before, you think they would've had somebody running after me with a whole 'do not do' list."

Which, granted, might not stop him, but thought that counts, etc., etc.

"I dunno, sometimes people leave that stuff off because it seems so super obvious they think it goes without saying."

Like hey, Nova, don't go running off half-cocked and trying to fight the Hulk. Cap and Spidey didn't think they had to spell that one out for him.

(Cap and Spidey clearly didn't know him well enough.)

Botany Lesson

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