Grif exhaled heavily, and looked back up at the sky. The false sky, anyway. It didn't matter that it was fake, it was cloudless and blue and beautiful and it was as good a place as any to stare while he thought.
The conversation with Nick, Judy, and Rocket had been uncomfortable. Sharing memories with people had been uncomfortable. But even with those experiences in recent memory, this was heavier and worse in some ways. Brainiac 5 was offering him something deeply personal here, and doing it voluntarily. Grif's first bristling instinct was to kick him for it, but he found he couldn't quite raise the boot. Not for real. Not after watching the shit the public already said about Brainy without his help. It seemed like half the UP thought the real Legion's disappearance was his fault and also intentional.
Maybe liking Brainy was an irrational decision based on being surrounded by assholes with no coping strategies for too long, but Grif was an asshole with no coping strategies too. That kinship meant he felt obligated to at least try here. For a little bit. Where nobody else could hear him fail.
"...Look, Brainy," he said. "I'm not a nice guy. It's pretty important to me that people understand that. Lazy fucker. Team asshole. You know."
Like it was nothing personal, just a flaw in his human programming.
He dug one hand into the sand, fidgeting with fingers clawed as he considered whether tearing off his own skin was a viable means to escape from this situation.
"I feel like... people are getting the wrong idea about who I am. And what I can do for them." God it was weird saying this shit. He was kind of repeating what Brainy had just told him, but he was sorting through it himself as he spoke.
"And sure, maybe I'm an asshole, but I don't actually want to hurt most of these guys. But if they start thinking I'm somebody I'm not, and expecting something out of me that I can't give them, that's what's gonna happen here."
"I'm not... supportive and all that shit. I've got my own problems."
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The conversation with Nick, Judy, and Rocket had been uncomfortable. Sharing memories with people had been uncomfortable. But even with those experiences in recent memory, this was heavier and worse in some ways. Brainiac 5 was offering him something deeply personal here, and doing it voluntarily. Grif's first bristling instinct was to kick him for it, but he found he couldn't quite raise the boot. Not for real. Not after watching the shit the public already said about Brainy without his help. It seemed like half the UP thought the real Legion's disappearance was his fault and also intentional.
Maybe liking Brainy was an irrational decision based on being surrounded by assholes with no coping strategies for too long, but Grif was an asshole with no coping strategies too. That kinship meant he felt obligated to at least try here. For a little bit. Where nobody else could hear him fail.
"...Look, Brainy," he said. "I'm not a nice guy. It's pretty important to me that people understand that. Lazy fucker. Team asshole. You know."
Like it was nothing personal, just a flaw in his human programming.
He dug one hand into the sand, fidgeting with fingers clawed as he considered whether tearing off his own skin was a viable means to escape from this situation.
"I feel like... people are getting the wrong idea about who I am. And what I can do for them." God it was weird saying this shit. He was kind of repeating what Brainy had just told him, but he was sorting through it himself as he spoke.
"And sure, maybe I'm an asshole, but I don't actually want to hurt most of these guys. But if they start thinking I'm somebody I'm not, and expecting something out of me that I can't give them, that's what's gonna happen here."
"I'm not... supportive and all that shit. I've got my own problems."