"It...hurts. Everything. Everything hurts. Being here."
He's not going to lie. Not to Robbie. Not after the squids messed with him like that.
And he knows Robbie will understand that feeling. Everything hurting.
"Right now I can't be glad to be here. I don't have it in me. But I think eventually maybe I will be."
He hugs Robbie tightly.
"We didn't know if I had to go back. To die. But I never died at all, I guess. Or at least I did and came back. And now I don't have to go back. Now I can just go home. With you and Vance and Sam."
It'd been hanging over their heads, all this time. Schrodinger's resurrection. Was the Time Trapper going to send him back to his death or not? Only they were asking the wrong question the whole time and that death wasn't waiting for him.
Now they have an answer.
And Robbie now has has some truths to replace the falsehoods.
"And I'm proud of you. For getting help. You're not...I never would've called you..." Crazy. It's not what he'd really felt and the words had felt alien on his tongue for a reason, even with his own strange double standard that he held for himself. "It's a hard thing to do. It's been hard for me and I'm only doing it 'cause...'cause I'm that far down that I can't...I can't get away with not doing it. But you keep trying to get better, even when it's a fight. I'm proud of you. For...for confronting the kinds of things I fly away from."
It's okay if he needs to hide everything in the hug. Rich is glad to give it, glad to hold onto the people he loves since he still can.
It'd been so lonely. He and Worldmind had tried to keep each other sane - and failed.
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He's not going to lie. Not to Robbie. Not after the squids messed with him like that.
And he knows Robbie will understand that feeling. Everything hurting.
"Right now I can't be glad to be here. I don't have it in me. But I think eventually maybe I will be."
He hugs Robbie tightly.
"We didn't know if I had to go back. To die. But I never died at all, I guess. Or at least I did and came back. And now I don't have to go back. Now I can just go home. With you and Vance and Sam."
It'd been hanging over their heads, all this time. Schrodinger's resurrection. Was the Time Trapper going to send him back to his death or not? Only they were asking the wrong question the whole time and that death wasn't waiting for him.
Now they have an answer.
And Robbie now has has some truths to replace the falsehoods.
"And I'm proud of you. For getting help. You're not...I never would've called you..." Crazy. It's not what he'd really felt and the words had felt alien on his tongue for a reason, even with his own strange double standard that he held for himself. "It's a hard thing to do. It's been hard for me and I'm only doing it 'cause...'cause I'm that far down that I can't...I can't get away with not doing it. But you keep trying to get better, even when it's a fight. I'm proud of you. For...for confronting the kinds of things I fly away from."
It's okay if he needs to hide everything in the hug. Rich is glad to give it, glad to hold onto the people he loves since he still can.
It'd been so lonely. He and Worldmind had tried to keep each other sane - and failed.