God. Was this what he had sounded like once, falling over himself to explain his position on a cold and ruthless team like the Thunderbolts, apologizing to Rich for hurting him?
He’s not actually sure he did. He thought about it, a lot, in the space between regaining his mind and picking up his old life. Robbie suspects he thought about some things so hard that he’s permanently damaged the memory trying out other lines and outcomes.
He doesn’t shake off Rich's hand – doesn’t judge him. Robbie just listens and feels it, too, because he knows how it feels afterwards to realize your mind was poisoned and swayed to believe blue was red.
“I just walked away thinking I’d been myself,” Robbie says quietly, “but they made me into someone else.”
The intonation doesn’t leave room for doubt: Robbie’s talking about himself, not parroting. “I don’t want you to apologize anymore than you want me to. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m an adult, for reals. I asked for advice, but I made my own bad decisions. And I own them, new and especially old. I don’t put that burden on anyone else.”
Robbie cards a hand through his hair and lets out a rough sigh. “I think in the event of tentacle monster possession I’m going to walk back my whole thing about how the ends and the means matter more than intent. Intent's all you have sometimes.”
Yeah, yeah, Rich gets two presents and everybody else only got one. Robbie can't stand to have him hurting over things that were Robbie's fault, though.
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He’s not actually sure he did. He thought about it, a lot, in the space between regaining his mind and picking up his old life. Robbie suspects he thought about some things so hard that he’s permanently damaged the memory trying out other lines and outcomes.
He doesn’t shake off Rich's hand – doesn’t judge him. Robbie just listens and feels it, too, because he knows how it feels afterwards to realize your mind was poisoned and swayed to believe blue was red.
“I just walked away thinking I’d been myself,” Robbie says quietly, “but they made me into someone else.”
The intonation doesn’t leave room for doubt: Robbie’s talking about himself, not parroting. “I don’t want you to apologize anymore than you want me to. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m an adult, for reals. I asked for advice, but I made my own bad decisions. And I own them, new and especially old. I don’t put that burden on anyone else.”
Robbie cards a hand through his hair and lets out a rough sigh. “I think in the event of tentacle monster possession I’m going to walk back my whole thing about how the ends and the means matter more than intent. Intent's all you have sometimes.”
Yeah, yeah, Rich gets two presents and everybody else only got one. Robbie can't stand to have him hurting over things that were Robbie's fault, though.