He hadn't lost Church in so many ways, just a handful; even dead the first time (dead? ha), he still haunted them as a "ghost". It wasn't until they were all shipped out and away that he lost Church, while he was stuck out in the sand. Then when Epsilon was captured in the memory unit. Then when he disappeared with Carolina. Then... well, then now.

Not so many ways, but enough ways. Hell, one way was enough, and maybe that's why Caboose was so fucked up, maybe it just helped with his own mountain of private shit. Maybe. Maybe.

"We need way more beer for this shit," he muttered. A case, at least.

"You've lost folks before." His eyes stared at her, begging for a lie, just give him a lie, Carolina. "Does this bullshit get easier?"