Ha, ha, motherfucker. That went way better than Tucker had ever planned, and he couldn’t help but laugh until he had no breath left in his lungs. Crap, man, crap. That was beautiful.

“Coul-haha-couldn’t have happened to-to a b-better person.”

And maybe he shouldn’t haven’t been laughing this hard because his raft started shaking, threatening to topple over and spill himself right in after him. He grabbed the sides, peals of laughter turning into cautious chuckles before he calmed himself and the raft in question. Nice save. Nice, drunken save.

“Come on, what the fuck did you think was gonna happen in a waterpark? It was gonna catch on fire?”