She scoffs and crosses her arms, scowling at the credits. It doesn't seem like there'd be a mid or end credits stinger to improve things, either. What a waste of hard drive space.
"What do I think should've happened?" She glances up at North. Even sitting, he's taller than her. Still, he's opened the floodgates. "There's a lot of problems with the movie as a whole, but I'll ignore them to focus on the ending. First, I think Buttercup should have had a drokking spine instead of being such a stupid, pathetic waste of air. She's an embarrassment of a female character who could have been replaced with a golden idol or some other inanimate object for all the difference she made in the plot. Here she is, the queen of Florin. She's got a helpless, self-admitted mass murderer who's famous for never leaving survivors and who she knows for a fact has killed one person in his quest to bed her. As well, he's already struck her across the face once. That's assault. Presumably a crime, and doubly so if they have any laws about touching their royalty."
If anyone thinks she wasn't calculating prison sentences in her head during the film, they don't know America very well.
"So. A helpless murderer. By Mega-City One Law, she should just call the guards, but in a more feudal society I'd imagine she has the authority to order or carry out executions on her own. I would have had her kill the Dread Pirate Roberts and announce his death publicly, ending his reign of terror across the high seas for good. Any other imitators can be called just that." She holds up a second finger. "The matter of Prince Humperdinck. She knows that he's a corrupt prince. He claimed to have killed Westley, but failed to do so. We could call that murder, but I've already established that as ruler of his realm he has the authority to do so. She doesn't know he intends to kill her or that he set up the entire kidnapping. However, she does know that he can't have good things in mind for her, given how he was rushing her wedding and the fact that he outright lied to her about killing Westley. The best thing for her to do in that situation is wait, kill Humperdinck when he comes in to greet his wife after fighting off the 'intruders' and claim that Roberts and Humperdinck had slain each other in combat, leaving her to rule the kingdom with much less corruption now that Humperdinck and Count Rugen aren't actively trying to brew up a war through her murder."
"As for the two mercenaries, Inigo and Fezzik," America waves her hand dismissively. "It's unfortunate, but the guards really can't contain them at all. I don't see a way to have them captured without throwing away lives, so they'd have to escape. Inigo, at least, gets his happy ending, even if it's entirely a criminal matter, and Fezzik gets to nurse his boyfriend back to health. Again." She pauses, considering something for a moment. "Are we sure this isn't just a subtle way for Washington to announce his preference for larger men?"
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"What do I think should've happened?" She glances up at North. Even sitting, he's taller than her. Still, he's opened the floodgates. "There's a lot of problems with the movie as a whole, but I'll ignore them to focus on the ending. First, I think Buttercup should have had a drokking spine instead of being such a stupid, pathetic waste of air. She's an embarrassment of a female character who could have been replaced with a golden idol or some other inanimate object for all the difference she made in the plot. Here she is, the queen of Florin. She's got a helpless, self-admitted mass murderer who's famous for never leaving survivors and who she knows for a fact has killed one person in his quest to bed her. As well, he's already struck her across the face once. That's assault. Presumably a crime, and doubly so if they have any laws about touching their royalty."
If anyone thinks she wasn't calculating prison sentences in her head during the film, they don't know America very well.
"So. A helpless murderer. By Mega-City One Law, she should just call the guards, but in a more feudal society I'd imagine she has the authority to order or carry out executions on her own. I would have had her kill the Dread Pirate Roberts and announce his death publicly, ending his reign of terror across the high seas for good. Any other imitators can be called just that." She holds up a second finger. "The matter of Prince Humperdinck. She knows that he's a corrupt prince. He claimed to have killed Westley, but failed to do so. We could call that murder, but I've already established that as ruler of his realm he has the authority to do so. She doesn't know he intends to kill her or that he set up the entire kidnapping. However, she does know that he can't have good things in mind for her, given how he was rushing her wedding and the fact that he outright lied to her about killing Westley. The best thing for her to do in that situation is wait, kill Humperdinck when he comes in to greet his wife after fighting off the 'intruders' and claim that Roberts and Humperdinck had slain each other in combat, leaving her to rule the kingdom with much less corruption now that Humperdinck and Count Rugen aren't actively trying to brew up a war through her murder."
"As for the two mercenaries, Inigo and Fezzik," America waves her hand dismissively. "It's unfortunate, but the guards really can't contain them at all. I don't see a way to have them captured without throwing away lives, so they'd have to escape. Inigo, at least, gets his happy ending, even if it's entirely a criminal matter, and Fezzik gets to nurse his boyfriend back to health. Again." She pauses, considering something for a moment. "Are we sure this isn't just a subtle way for Washington to announce his preference for larger men?"