"I know." He knows when he's being a hypocrite, and he knows this isn't his responsibility - entirely or at all - but that doesn't necessarily stop him. "I know, but I can't- I can't do nothing, not when everyone-" Not when everyone's hurt. Not when everyone needs help.

But right now, doesn't that include him?

He stops and sighs, shoulders sagging. Maybe he can explain what he wants and not sound like a complete idiot. "Back in the project, one of my friends was Maine. He was a pretty big guy, and whenever I'd get upset or worked up about something, he'd let me lean on him until I felt better." There are days when Wash misses him so much it's almost a physical ache, and this is shaping up to be one of them. "I know you're not him - he's been gone for years - I just-"

He just what? Wanted to replace a dead friend? Maine and Chief are not the same, and asking Chief to fill in is unfair and selfish at best and fucking stupid at worst.

He shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't have come here. He should've just gone back to his quarters and dealt with the fucking nightmares rather than try to talk Chief into something he's not equipped to do.

Damn it.

"Nevermind," he says abruptly, turning towards the door. "I'll get out of your hair."