the_real_sir_prize: (Default)
Victor Nikiforov ([personal profile] the_real_sir_prize) wrote in [community profile] legionworld2017-01-25 02:01 am

Che farò senza Euridice?

Who| Yuuri and Victor
What| Dealing with the aftermath of their respective first missions
Where| The MedBay
When| Immediately after Silent Horizon
Warnings/Notes| Discussions of blood and death, trauma, nudity, naked touching

Victor really, truly hopes that it's going to be hard to top this day for the worst in his life, because he doesn't want to find out what would be worse than spending an indeterminate number of hours running for his life from monsters who were trying to kill him and who were also people who were supposed to be helping save other people with him. He can still feel the blood caking his hair down, even if the Legion staffers back on the cruiser had mostly managed to clean it out with their weird humming space wands. They'd also patched him up and given him clothes to change into, which is good because everything he'd worn into that hellscape needs to be thrown into the nearest sun, right down to his underwear.

Ugh.

Still, phantom sensations of trickling blood and clammy fear-sweat aside, he's almost presentable now. Not selfie-presentable, because: no, never, not happening; but presentable enough he's not going to horrify Yuuri when he throws himself out of the Legion cruiser and into Yuuri's arms.

Except Yuuri's not waiting for him when the cruiser lands, and Victor's close enough to hear the staffers talking about something even if he's not close enough to hear everything they're saying, and...

...And someone died while they were gone. Someone died and suddenly Victor can't stick around to ask questions because he knows he's not going to be able to hear the answers until he sees Yuuri for himself. Fortunately, the halls are designed to ensure that the Legionnaires have enough room to fly overhead, and Victor is highly motivated to get to Medical as fast as he can.
katsudork: (116)

[personal profile] katsudork 2017-01-26 08:02 am (UTC)(link)
Instead of being on the main Medbay floor (the place where they often are if they won't be in Medbay long) Yuuri's in one of the private rooms. Most of the soot has been cleaned off his face, and what little burns and cuts and bruises he had from the fight were taken care of. The only things that show how much he's been through are the burns and tears on his now-ruined costume, and the blank expression on his face.

The reason he's still in Medbay isn't physical, it's because of how he's staring straight ahead at the wall, eyes unseeing. Dr. Ry'kerr had already talked to him earlier and planned to come again to talk to him more after making the rounds and seeing the others from the Cargg mission, but the sudden influx of severely disturbed Legionnaires from both teams means she and the rest of the psych stuff suddenly have their hands even fuller.

The nurses have at least been nice. The keep checking in on him and have been very kind, but have also given him the space he needs.

Still, he's been stuck just sitting here, stewing in his guilt, caught in a state of constant shaking anxiety as he waits to find out what happened to the other mission team.

But before the other nurses show up, Victor's there, peeking in the right doorway. And his costume is gone like something happened to it, and he looks like he's been through hell, and there's something dried and gross and horrible in the roots of his hair that might be blood. Yuuri is already off his bed and halfway to him before he even realizes these things, and starts sobbing the moment after he notices.

He's dead weight from the moment he his arms wrap around Victor, dragging him down to the floor with him, his legs shaking too much from nerves and sheer exhaustion to hold him up.
katsudork: (075)

[personal profile] katsudork 2017-01-26 08:43 am (UTC)(link)
Yuuri finally looks up to see the tears on Victor's face and it shakes him. He's never seen Victor cry before, not even once, and he knows that it must mean that what Victor's team faced must have been terrible. He heard whispers from the nurses of what had happened to the returning team being ushered into Medbay, and now he knows those whispers are true.

So his crying and needing to be comforted turns into him trying to comfort back, too. Tears still spill from his eyes, but the sobs stop and he kisses the tears off Victor's face, presses kisses to his cheeks, to his forehead, to everywhere.

He feels foolish for being so shy about it all before. Why has he been shy about any of it? What happens if he keeps hesitating until something happens to Victor and he isn't there to kiss?

The kisses he presses to his lips are short and hard and desperately needy, meant to confirm that yes, he's here, yes, they're both alive. He doesn't care if the nurses stumble in on them and see. He needs this.
Edited 2017-01-26 08:44 (UTC)
katsudork: (103)

[personal profile] katsudork 2017-01-26 09:51 am (UTC)(link)
The words come in loud and clear -- even the unspoken ones. But they can't sit on the floor and hold each other and kiss forever.

Oh, the kissing and holding each other forever, that they can do. It's mostly the floor part that's objectionable.

Yuuri finally stops, eyes closed, his forehead pressed against Victor's, and tries to catch his breath. Somehow the crying stopped in the middle there somewhere. He pulls away and wipes at his face.

Then he looks down at the floor.

"The floor's cold," he says, because there's a bed, and it'd be a lot more comfortable to comfort each other in it.

He finally lets go, but only so he can stand up shakily, hold his hand down to help Victor up, and lead him to the bed.
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[personal profile] katsudork 2017-01-26 10:17 am (UTC)(link)
Yuuri cringes at the question but Victor's going to find out eventually anyway, and he has to get himself to the point where he can actually say it. He has to get his emotions back under control again.

"Blue Rose died," he says quietly. He has to draw in a deep breath and let it out before he can speak again. "We fought against a supervillain and beat him. I left her to find the police so he could be taken in, but when I got back, she was... she'd been hurt and tried to ice it over. She must not have realized how bad it was when she sent me away."

His eyes well up.

"I should've made sure, though. Before I left. I should've been more careful, paid closer attention."
Edited 2017-01-26 10:19 (UTC)
katsudork: (111)

[personal profile] katsudork 2017-01-26 10:42 am (UTC)(link)
Yuuri lets himself be hugged but also lets out a frustrated huff. Of course Victor's trying to make him think it isn't his fault. Whenever he's anxious or blames himself for something, people always inconveniently get in the way.

"I didn't need to be a doctor to notice it! I just would've had to look a little bit longer."

All it would've taken was him pausing for a moment longer, and then he might've noticed what had happened to her side. Then he would've known to get medical help instead of just the police, and he would've known he had less time to stop and help people on the --

Well. It isn't like he could've not helped people, but --

But he could've done something different.
katsudork: (117)

[personal profile] katsudork 2017-01-26 11:09 am (UTC)(link)
Yuuri pulls away to look Victor in the eye.

"I should've -- I just --"

He looks for the words and can't find them.

"I should've --"

The tension in his chest winds down slightly, until he can't find any words at all. So he just butts his head into Victor's shoulder. He can't think himself out of feeling bad, not when his brain is screaming at him that it's his fault, but he can take refuge in the warmth of Victor's body. He can focus on how solid he feels, on the rise and fall of his chest.

Having something solid to hold onto, a tether to the here and now, makes it easier to get out of being stuck in his own head.

"I just should've done something different. Somehow."
Edited 2017-01-26 11:29 (UTC)
katsudork: (106)

[personal profile] katsudork 2017-02-02 09:55 am (UTC)(link)
Victor really does have something gross in the roots of his hair. It looks like it might be dried blood and Yuuri tries not to think about how it got there. As much as he wants to keep spilling his guts out and wallowing in how upset he is, he decides that he needs to put his own feelings aside for now. Whether it's his fault or not, whether he should blame himself or not, he's not the only one that went through an ordeal today.

And when all is said and done, other than what happened to Blue Rose, and the horrific end of Firefly, it actually wasn't that bad. Frightening and stressful, but --

But there's no blood in his own hair.

The more he looks at Victor, the more concerned he is by what he sees. He seems frayed to a thread in a way Yuuri's never really seen before.

So he nods at Victor, immediately going into supportive boyfriend mode, slipping out of the Medbay bed and taking him by the hand, holding onto it tightly.
Edited 2017-02-02 09:56 (UTC)
katsudork: (103)

[personal profile] katsudork 2017-02-02 11:34 am (UTC)(link)
Yuuri shakes his head. He simply flags down one of the nurses and gives him a few quiet words. That's all it takes.

"I was...I was out of it. They just wanted to give me someplace quiet."

Now, though, he's not in shock. Now he holds on tight to Victor's hand and walks him towards their quarters. He's leading now, fingers tightly threaded through Victor's fingers, taking charge. He needs to make sure Victor's taken care of.

So he leads him along, gently but firmly, until they reach their quarters. He heads for Victor's room.
Edited 2017-02-02 11:56 (UTC)
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[personal profile] katsudork 2017-02-02 12:21 pm (UTC)(link)
He's patient. He waits until Victor gets what he needs, using his own free hand to thread his fingers through Phi-chan's fur.

When Victor is ready to move on, he draws him towards the bathroom, briefly brushing his fingers through his silver hair to get a look at the...stuff in it. There's no way he's letting him go to bed like that.

"You need a shower."

He needs to get all that gross gunk out of his hair. He knows Victor will feel disgusting until he does.
Edited 2017-02-02 12:22 (UTC)
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[personal profile] katsudork 2017-02-02 12:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Yuuri doesn't understand it but he couldn't be less afraid. He can tell what this is, that there's something that's tripping him off. He can tell that Victor's trying to cope with something he's never had to cope with before.

The idea of someone fixating on some minor detail during a time they're upset definitely isn't alien to him. He's done it often enough himself, focusing on some minute and tiny thing while caught in the throes of panicking over something.

He's just gentle and patient and he lets Victor look at his hand and when his gaze meets his eyes, his face is just as gentle.

"You need a shower," he repeats, trying to lead him towards the bathroom again. "Come on."
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[personal profile] katsudork 2017-02-02 01:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Victor looks dismayed and he already knows why. Yuuri knows Victor thinks the sonic showers are novel, but they're not quite the same as having a good soak. After growing up spoiled by the onsen, he doesn't really like them at all, personally. Even in America, he had normal hot showers and a bath to soak in, so this whole sonic thing is...disappointing.

Fortunately for Victor, there's a very nice draw beyond just getting clean.

"I need a shower, too," says Yuuri, and he finally lets go of Victor's hand but it's to loosen and kick off his boots, and to start divesting himself of his dirty and battered uniform.

He tries not to think about it too much. It's not as if it's the first time Victor's seen him naked, after all. They've bathed together regularly, at this point.
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[personal profile] katsudork 2017-02-02 02:28 pm (UTC)(link)
He takes off his glasses and puts them on the bathroom counter next to the sink.

By now he's messed with sonic shower settings enough to figure out how to make them feel the least strange, so he does that and the sonic waves start to wash over them. With two people in the shower, especially, the flow is different. It's less like being cleaned by the shower-version of a sonic toothbrush, and more like being buffeted by actual currents of water coming from all directions.

It sweeps through Yuuri's hair in a way that isn't at all unflattering, and unlike many of the times they bathed in the onsen, he does get handsy this time. He draws Victor into the currents and starts to run his hands through his hair, helping work all the gross stuff out of the silver strands.

"There," he breathes out gently, pressing his forehead against Victor's. "Much better."
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[personal profile] katsudork 2017-02-06 12:04 pm (UTC)(link)
His hands wander, over Victor and over himself, until the both of them are clean and even then he's not ready to let go. He wraps his arms around Victor, burying his head on his shoulder, nuzzling it there and breathing him in, pressed close enough that even the waves from the sonic shower can't roll his smell away.

"I'm glad you're okay."

And then saying the words suddenly makes him feel like he's drowning, and he has to bite back tears.
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[personal profile] katsudork 2017-02-06 12:19 pm (UTC)(link)
All this skin on skin is overwhelming. (And tingly). But the ache in his muscles is terrible and exhaustion suddenly hits Yuuri like a brick to the head. He presses a kiss to Victor's shoulder and then lets go.

"We should go to bed. I'm about to fall asleep on my feet."

Together, though. Sometimes they sleep in separate beds because Yuuri needs his own space, especially the nights he's thrumming with anxiety over this whole being stuck in the future thing. But other nights Victor creeps into his bed and cuddles.

Tonight, though, there's no reason for him to go all the way to his room when Victor's bed is right outside the bathroom door.
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[personal profile] katsudork 2017-02-06 12:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Victor usually sleeps naked, and has lost more and clothing over time during the nights they cuddle, but Yuuri never does. Right now, though, he doesn't want to let go, not even to go get some pajamas or underwear. Besides, he likes the idea of spending tonight pressed against Victor's skin.

He lets himself be pulled onto the bed, and after briefly leaning over Victor to ghost his lips against his forehead, he climbs under the covers, ready to settle in for the night, taking off his glasses and putting them on the bedside table.
Edited 2017-02-06 12:34 (UTC)
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[personal profile] katsudork 2017-02-06 12:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Yuuri taps the light off, shakes his head against him, and just holds him tight.

There are things he wants to say but he can't find the words. He feels like his chest is going to just expand and expand until it explodes.

Since he can't find words, he opts for pressing kisses into Victor's hair and against his forehead.
Edited 2017-02-06 12:49 (UTC)
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[personal profile] katsudork 2017-02-10 09:57 am (UTC)(link)
Yuuri noticeably tenses up when Victor mentioned the Grand Prix Final. Because...because he doesn't know what Victor wants, after all this is over, after the Grand Prix is over.

In Yuuri's mind that's always been when they'll say goodbye, but now...now he's not so sure.

Now he's not ready to let go. Ever.

"Mmm?"
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[personal profile] katsudork 2017-02-16 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
Yuuri's never heard Victor's voice sound like that, but somehow he knows it's not just the stress of what happened. There's something about it that makes it seem as if it's something raw already there that's been exposed instead of being a wound freshly dealt.

He still doesn't know what it is that drew Victor to him from a country away, but he knows that someone wouldn't upend their whole life unless they were searching for something, trying to fill some need or want.

The idea that he fills that need and want emboldens him. It makes him feel like he's discovered some kind of hidden power inside himself. He's the femme fatale who's charmed the playboy, wrapped him around her little finger, and now Victor is begging him with that tone in his voice to not be cast off, to have a different ending to the dance.

Hearing those words silences the little timid voice in Yuuri's mind that questions these kinds of things. There's nothing to question anymore. Victor wanting to be his boyfriend made so many things clear, and right now, the way he's wrapped around him, naked in more way than one, makes them even more clear.

Of course he doesn't want to leave him, his eros is that powerful.

There are worse things to sacrifice a career over. He's already made his choice. He'll still try for the Grand Prix Final when this is all over because he knows Victor will be heartbroken if he gives up entirely, but after that, of the two of them, only Victor has a chance of going back to form when all this is done. He's the only one that has a chance of a career after their final competition together. Yuuri's career will be over, just like Yuuri assumed would be the case when he signed up for this saving-existence thing.

He can live with that if he can still have everything that comes after, if he can cheer Victor on from the sidelines, if they can wake up safe and warm from the cold Moscow mornings because of how they're all wrapped up just. Like. This.

He could've stuttered. He could've been shy about all of this, timid, upset over his ice skating career, but no. No, after hearing those words and the crack in his voice, after understanding how much a waste of time that timidity is, he's never felt more sure of anything in his life. One of them has to stop skating and he's fine with burning what's left of his career on the altar of their relationship.

"Then don't."

It's unquestionably a command, but the harshest edge of it is softened by the way Yuuri whispers it in Victor's ear.
Edited 2017-02-16 02:15 (UTC)
katsudork: (117)

[personal profile] katsudork 2017-03-22 09:50 am (UTC)(link)
He threads his fingers through Victor's hair.

They took out their sonic earplugs while disrobing for the shower and that makes this easier. He can't say it in English. He can't look at him while he says it either.

But he manages to find the words, knowing that Victor knows just enough Japanese to understand them, and even if he doesn't, that the tone, the way he whispers them in his ear, says enough.